Motivation drives us to action. It is an inner drive that helps us pursue goals and ideas. Motivation is critical to what we do, how we feel, and how well we can function.

To a certain extent, we are all motivated by something. Lack of motivation can happen when we lose track of our own wishes and desires, when we feel helpless in a situation, or when we feel we have no choices available. When we are taken over by a feeling or an idea that, somehow, we are not capable of doing something we want, we tend to suppress our wishes and dreams and go with whatever flow we are in. This situation can cause us to feel tired, drained, hopeless, or numb.

There are possible reasons for lack of motivation which are of a medical nature, so it is always worth consulting with the doctor to check there isn’t an underlying physical problem. Once that is ruled out, then the work needs to be done at a cognitive-behavioral level.

Not all apples are the same

Before we move forward, it is important to note we all have different drives, different energy levels, very different interests, and different talents. Our collective western society tends to overvalue certain attributes such as education, financial success, career development, ambition, likeability, fitness, and so on – we know what they are, social media is there to show them to us daily.

Because you don’t feel motivated to grow in your career, to become incredibly fit, or to earn lots of money, doesn’t mean you have a problem with motivation. We need to be careful to see the difference between what we think we “should want” (based on other people) and what we truly want, which comes from our own inner self, and it doesn’t change much from childhood to adulthood.

It is normal, and very common, to NOT feel driven to work 100 hours a week to support a lifestyle you don’t even want.

It is also very common want a warm simple home, with a loving family, with a nice dog and a garden, and a job that allows you to enjoy all of that.

The critical word here is compromise. What am I willing to let go so I can get into the path of doing what genuinely drives me?

Making choices

Some drives are unique to each of us, while other drives are more common to most of us. I will describe a few drives and put them into perspective so we can understand where some of our choices may be coming from and how we may be able to become “unstuck”.

Ultimately, it comes down making choices and sticking to them instead of trying to hold on to everything or keep many options available. It is important to leave all options behind when making a choice and moving forward.

We strive for recognition and respect, not money in itself.

A few studies have shown that participants put more effort into tasks when they are given recognition (i.e., a prize, a competition leaderboard) than when they were offered just money.

We all need money to survive and that is important. Being financially independent allows us to do more and worry less. However, being financially healthy has more to do with planning and discipline than hard work or talent – think of bankrupt celebrities. It is possible to earn a lot and still have financial problems due to lack of planning and discipline.

On the other hand, when you decide on what you want and what you like, you can build a stepwise plan to get you where you want to be, doing something you like and allowing for compromises.

You may find yourself feeling much more motivated by the image of the life you want than by the next bonus or promotion your job is offering, and that is absolutely fine.

When we have clear goals which are consistent with what we believe in and with what we truly want, then we become unstoppable.

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how”. Friedrich Nietzsche.

Finding your true drives

This is where hypnotherapy can really help. From the outset, having a trained therapist listen to your concerns allows you to gain some insights, because the therapist will see your world from the outside, and in a more object way.

We can get caught up in our own fears, hopes, beliefs, and experiences, which can make it difficult to think clearly and objectively about our own future. We often downplay our strengths and over-focus on limitations and risks. We can get stuck in certain ideas, so it is valuable to have someone to help us get out of our ways of thinking sometimes.

A trained therapist knows how to challenge your beliefs and guide your thoughts into a more detached and objective, problem-solving, mode. We can have our own stories reframed and revisited, allowing new stories to come through. Stories where we have choices, we feel empowered, and we look forward to challenges and to the future.

Hypnosis is then used to reinforce new and helpful ideas, encourage a more positive mindset, and help with creative problem-solving.

An exercise to try on your own

You can still make good progress on your own, and you can get a friend to help. The key idea is to write down your thoughts, so they seem more real.

First, write down many reasons why you are feeling demotivated. Write down as many as you can, include wild guesses. In fact, anytime you think you don’t know or cannot think of something, take a wild guess. For example, “I’m not sure why I’m feeling down, but perhaps it is because I’m sitting here instead of a beach in the Maldives!”. You may find this exercise liberating because you don’t need to be precise, you don’t even need to be real. Just write whatever comes to mind.

Then write down your strengths. Think of as many as you can.

Next, make a list of things you have enjoyed playing as a child. Add any special stories about things you did as a child. They are clues to your core self.

Make a list of your main moral values, the ones you feel worst when you break. For some honesty is top priority, while others are more comfortable with concealing parts of the truth. Then check if your current work needs you to break your own moral code somehow. This is often a reason to feel demotivated. 

Lastly, revise what you have written so far. What seems important to you? Where do your strengths come from? What makes you feel good? Get a friend to help you, you can offer to do the same for them. By now you should have a better idea of what your drives are, and why they are being suppressed.

Set goals, and break it into baby-steps

We are guided by imagination. How we see our future defines how we feel, so it is important to have things to look forward to. Once you find a few things you would like to do, make sure to get started with a plan get them done.

When a task seems too ambitious, don’t let that stop you – just break it down into small and achievable steps. It is important to get started and get the feeling you are moving forward.

Make sure you regularly review your goals and progress, as this will help motivate you. It will also improve your feelings of self-efficacy for making such progress.

Achievements are closely related to effort, persistence, and a bit of good luck. The key is to start. And to keep trying.